Hello again, my faithful followers. It’s time for another episode of my reflections on life here at Mercy Spring Ranch.
Alas, I must begin this epistle by taking issue with a posting of Miss Mo on the Mercy Spring website. She posted a video tour of my paddock, showing the Feeder tossed to one side. She made it seem like there was something wrong with this picture. Miss Mo wanted an explanation.
It would appear that Miss Mo does not read the Gimli Gazette (GG). If she did, she would have discovered that I have been in intense training for the upcoming Ironhorse Triathlon. Three main olympic-style events are merged into one to highlight the giftings and physical prowess of the competing horses.
While a horse of my stature need not train for this competition, I do so out of respect for the other competitors, so that they will not feel intimidated by all of my natural abilities.
The first event is the Feeder Toss (see GG #9). This is very much like the shot-put competition that humans engage in. I warm up in my paddock by tossing about the jacket of a horse handler that was left in my personal space. I then move on to tossing the heavy Feeder. It would have landed even farther away than where it is shown in the video, but there are walls in my paddock that prevented it from setting a world record.
The second event is the Mounting Block Flip (see also GG #9). Ladyhawke has been my spotter as I have been flipping the block all around the arena. The grace and ease which I demonstrate while flipping the block truly are a wonder to behold.
The final event is the Giant Ball Roll (see GG #7). This requires great finesse, which few horses possess. This is why poor Connor flees in terror when I nudge the ball his way. I fear that he is not destined for greatness in Olympic competition.
Because I am always thinking ahead for future competitions (due to the fact that I am such a visionary horse!), I will be submitting a new event for the Olympic Committee’s consideration. It will be a variation of the Caber Toss, which is practiced at the Scottish Highland Games, only done with the colorful Jump Poles from the arena. Think of it as a type of javelin toss for horses. Those poles are now fair game for my use and training.
Well, that’s it for now. I amaze myself that I can train so hard on an empty stomach, due to the diet that I am on (under protest, see GG #8). Fortunately, I have hidden stashes of food on the ranch that Mo and John know nothing about. I WILL SURVIVE!
Happy Trails,
Gimli April 25, 2022