Hello readers of all things Gimli. It is time for the twentieth issue of the Gimli Gazette.
I always like to start off an issue with a fan letter when I have received one. This epistle comes from a regular correspondent. She writes, “Do you think that the chickens are noisy?”
Thank you for this thoughtful question. While I do not like to speak poorly of my neighbors, the chickens have been known to keep me awake at times. They seem to always have something to say, especially when they are laying their eggs. And when Rooster Fred wakes up, I never hear the end of his crowing. I suppose my 3am music rehearsals on my feeder might awaken the chickens from a deep slumber, so I guess we are even.
What really drives me crazy is when they try to sneak into my paddock when I am not looking and indiscriminately poop wherever they wish. Horses will often do their duty in a dignified manner (as befitting creatures of high equine stature), but these barnyard fowl just do their thing without any thought to my high standards of hygiene.
I have a place for everything in my paddock. There is a place for me to lie down and sleep, a place to eat, and a place for going to the bathroom. These vile creatures will often go into my toilet and kick things around with their scrawny feet. I try to make life easier for the volunteers on poop patrol by keeping all my droppings in one place, but the chickens are quick to undo all of my good efforts. There are times when I want to place a call to the local Chick-Fil-A and offer them some fresh inventory!
Chickens are not the only noisy critters on the ranch. Recently we discovered a new family of kit foxes homesteading on the property. They look like big cats to me. What is bizarre about them is that they often make a “chirping” noise that drives me crazy. A horse needs a little peace and quiet to pursue contemplation of life’s mysteries. I can’t properly run a ranch if my ears are constantly filled with clucking, crowing, and chirping!
At least I am getting out into the pasture more. Miss Mo is letting us out later in the day to stretch our legs. I take this opportunity to find some fresh, green grass as an appetizer before dinner.
And speaking of my evening meal, I have received reports from my army of junior detectives (see last week’s Gimli Gazette) with transcripts of their interrogations of Miss Mo. I thought of authorizing the use of torture; but Miss Mo has been good to me lately during my recent illness, so I extended mercy.
The children must have been very persuasive, since Miss Mo broke under the pressure of their intense grilling and confessed to the crime. It turns out that she has been soaking my food at night to remove some of the sugar and carbs from the hay (to keep my weight down). This is why the hay has not been as tasty to my goumet palate. She thought that she could get away with this treachery, but she forgot who she was up against. Another mystery solved by Detective Gimli Black!
Well, that’s all for this week. The sessions are going well, even in the heat. I hope you are all staying cool in your human paddocks.
Happy Trails,
Gimli July 19, 2022